Reading an interesting article today, the last part of the article caught my attention. I know we, as Malaysians, are using British English, because we were once being colonised by their country. However, I never know that JOKING is British English and KIDDING is American English.
(BrE) = (AmE)
bill (e.g. for restaurant meal) = check,
flyover = overpass,
full-stop = period,
groundnut = peanut,
maize = corn,
petrol = gasoline
I wonder if I am writing my SPM English paper now, will it be marked as a mistake when I put overpass instead of flyover or peanut instead of groundnut. (Do you use 'groundnut butter' or 'peanut butter'?) I still can remember we were always being corrected when we write COLOR (AmE), APOLOGIZED (AmE) etc.
Russians are using American English, so it's quite confusing when I shifted here the first year in my university. However, it's not much a trouble as I am studying in Medical Faculty and not English Language Faculty. =P
Do the examiners really define which words are of British English and which are of American's? or they don't really know it well? Today's world is so much being influenced by American's culture, how can we really separate BrE from AmE?
I guess language is a pretty difficult subject to go deep into UH~~. =)
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Dirty Zone!
Feeling exhausted... At last, I am all alone now. I invited some guests to my hostel simply because I wanted to fellowship with them. We, once, worked very closely together, but as time has passed, we are now working independently in God's ministry.
Banky is the very first African which I am very closed with. We used to spend our nights by the side of the computers, editing the videos we had. Daniel, a guy who is actually older than me but treating me as an older sister, who I respect for his commitments in learning and growing. Ebony, a brand new friend. =)
Though I was tired of working on call the previous night in the hospital, I really wanted to make this fellowship a good one. So, I did all I can. =) I don't think my cooking was nice but I really love having them as my guests. Thanks for coming, guys!
--------------------------------------------
Recalling the days just before I came over to Moscow for my medical study, there were people rejoicing with me, simply being excited; there were people questioning me......
"Do you know that being a doctor, you have to do all kinds of dirty works?"
Indeed, she was right. Being a doctor do sound great, having a title "Dr." before you name and "MBBS" or "MD" following your name. However, many times, you have to get your hands on the works that neither a normal businessman nor a teacher will ever do. For example, treating a patient with infectious disease that you might get infected easily.
Did I regret getting into medical faculty ever since? NO!
From the very basic I learned, I learned from the nurses. From doing injections till mopping the floor and throwing the rubbish into the dumping place which smells at least 10 m away. Imagine the boredom that might fill you when every time you step into the hospital you know you are going to face people's buttocks, count the used needles, mop the floor, do enema, withdraw the gastric juices mixed with half-dissolved food and so on. You simply just a living machine!
However, from the same works I did, I learned. I learned cleaning the place as if it's my own room. I learned injecting with minimum feelings of pain. I learned withdrawing stuffs from the wound with full attention.
The more you do, is not an excuse for doing more mistakes due to boredom, but to practice more frequent to make your works perfect.
I am, indeed, very tired, but I enjoyed working there because I learned a lot from working. It'll sharpen my character, I hope.
Banky is the very first African which I am very closed with. We used to spend our nights by the side of the computers, editing the videos we had. Daniel, a guy who is actually older than me but treating me as an older sister, who I respect for his commitments in learning and growing. Ebony, a brand new friend. =)
Though I was tired of working on call the previous night in the hospital, I really wanted to make this fellowship a good one. So, I did all I can. =) I don't think my cooking was nice but I really love having them as my guests. Thanks for coming, guys!
--------------------------------------------
Recalling the days just before I came over to Moscow for my medical study, there were people rejoicing with me, simply being excited; there were people questioning me......
"Do you know that being a doctor, you have to do all kinds of dirty works?"
Indeed, she was right. Being a doctor do sound great, having a title "Dr." before you name and "MBBS" or "MD" following your name. However, many times, you have to get your hands on the works that neither a normal businessman nor a teacher will ever do. For example, treating a patient with infectious disease that you might get infected easily.
Did I regret getting into medical faculty ever since? NO!
From the very basic I learned, I learned from the nurses. From doing injections till mopping the floor and throwing the rubbish into the dumping place which smells at least 10 m away. Imagine the boredom that might fill you when every time you step into the hospital you know you are going to face people's buttocks, count the used needles, mop the floor, do enema, withdraw the gastric juices mixed with half-dissolved food and so on. You simply just a living machine!
However, from the same works I did, I learned. I learned cleaning the place as if it's my own room. I learned injecting with minimum feelings of pain. I learned withdrawing stuffs from the wound with full attention.
The more you do, is not an excuse for doing more mistakes due to boredom, but to practice more frequent to make your works perfect.
I am, indeed, very tired, but I enjoyed working there because I learned a lot from working. It'll sharpen my character, I hope.
Monday, August 4, 2008
On call day...
Waking up in the morning, a little bit late, at 0715 I went reluctantly to the cupboard and grabbed a packet of noodles stating "DONE in 3 MINUTES!" Obviously I'll be late to hospital, but still, I don't want to rush. I just want to enjoy my breakfast slowly.
I like going there, I love the hospital, I love working there. The only thing that make me feel reluctant of is the distance. As usual, I got to travel 1 hour and the half just to get my feet at the hospital compound. Entering and walking towards the department will take me another 10 minutes. If I am in Ipoh, I would have reached Taiping by that time of traveling. Tiring......
Walking into the nurse room, I saw Tanya and all I said was "Privyet!" (Hello!). Tanya was happy seeing me and she offered me "Chai khochesh?" (Tea want? = Do you want a cup of tea?). "Da, spasibo!" (Yes, thank you!) We are not lazying around, it was just not the time yet for works to come!
We chatted for some time and there came the works. It's around 1130 and we got to get ready for injections at 1200. Counting the number of injections I have to prepared, I walked towards the "Protsedurnaya Komnata" (Prosedure room). This is the place I like the most. I like withdrawing the medicine from the ampules and putting up drips on the hanger. When all are done, Tanya will say "Dawai poidiom" (Let's go).
Ward to ward we went, and the first word we said was "Ukolchiki" (little injections). We called the patients' names and they would lie on their front with their buttocks ready. One by one we did and it came to the end. We went back to the same room, disposed the used needles and that's all for that moment.
I like the room, I like standing by the side of the huge window, looking out of the window, I actually see a small part of moscow. I can't describe how much I like moscow, more than malaysia. How great God is to have created things in order. How great is He, to have seperated the heaven and the earth. I like looking up to the sky, seeing the white and blue harmonising one another. Grey has no right to be there at all!
I like looking at the trees, waving. I like the breeze blowing towards my face. I simply like nature! Gaya called me from my back, "Dawai, Yin, chai popyom" (Let's drink tea, Yin)
I wished I could stay there a little longer, but, it's just too difficult to explain to them why am I standing there, so, well, "okay!" I said.
Have you ever felt how blessed are you living on this earth? I read a book and it says, "you will not feel contented because you don't belong to the earth, you are just a foreigner, temporary staying here." However, I feel blessed, I am looking forward for more to come, the better will be, but I feel blessed because I am under God's protection and each step I take, I know He measured well before hand. I learned that the more I feel worry, the more I am, the same for feeling blessed. The more I feel blessed, the more I am.
As usual, I am quite popularily loved by Ward 820. They just love seeing me. "Devuska, dawai davlenie izmerite, pozhalusta." (Girl, please measure blood pressure). I got shock when I came to this old lady, I didn't expect much because all these while her blood pressure was quite low and today it was 80/35. I asked "How are you? Do you feel dizzy?" "No, I am just feeling weak." "ok. Rest well, anything please press the signal." "OK."
I went off and told Tanya about it. She said "She is dying."
She is dying? A 83-year-old lady, having cancer in her stomach, hemoglobin keeps on dropping, from 70 to 60 till 40. The body seems like not wanting to fight against the cancerous cells. She is just too afraid to take another injection. I wonder, what is in her mind now......
I felt so boring sitting down and doing nothing once when I was working in another hospital. I fully understand how suffering it'll be for waiting. She doesn't read a book or watch television. She doesn't have friends or family visiting her. She doesn't able to get out of her bed, she is partially bed-ridden. How she actually feels when just lying down and waiting. What is she hoping for now? A relative to come saying "HI!", a doctor telling her you are all well and you will be discharged right now, or simply just close her eyes and never wake up again?
Everyday I woke up and there are some works waiting for me to drive me on for the day and I always thank God for letting me open up my eyes for another brand new day. How about her? Opening up her eyes will make her suffer for another day? I am lost for words, I simply just don't know how big is the burden in her heart, how big are the shoes she is wearing on now.
I wonder what her consultant will say. What will you say to a patient which you feel there is no hope and she is actually old enough to stop bearing the pain just to get rid of the cancer? I wanted to approach her and have a nice chat, to kills the boredom, but I have the language barrier, so well......sigh......How many doctors will actually have the time just to sit down by the side of the patients and listen to them? A friend told me this, "Being a doctor, you can't involve too much of your feelings towards the patient into it." I agree, but I just want to care and love them.
Do you actually know how much time you have left on earth? Do the best you can to feel better! The happier are the people around you, the happier you will be. =)
I like going there, I love the hospital, I love working there. The only thing that make me feel reluctant of is the distance. As usual, I got to travel 1 hour and the half just to get my feet at the hospital compound. Entering and walking towards the department will take me another 10 minutes. If I am in Ipoh, I would have reached Taiping by that time of traveling. Tiring......
Walking into the nurse room, I saw Tanya and all I said was "Privyet!" (Hello!). Tanya was happy seeing me and she offered me "Chai khochesh?" (Tea want? = Do you want a cup of tea?). "Da, spasibo!" (Yes, thank you!) We are not lazying around, it was just not the time yet for works to come!
We chatted for some time and there came the works. It's around 1130 and we got to get ready for injections at 1200. Counting the number of injections I have to prepared, I walked towards the "Protsedurnaya Komnata" (Prosedure room). This is the place I like the most. I like withdrawing the medicine from the ampules and putting up drips on the hanger. When all are done, Tanya will say "Dawai poidiom" (Let's go).
Ward to ward we went, and the first word we said was "Ukolchiki" (little injections). We called the patients' names and they would lie on their front with their buttocks ready. One by one we did and it came to the end. We went back to the same room, disposed the used needles and that's all for that moment.
I like the room, I like standing by the side of the huge window, looking out of the window, I actually see a small part of moscow. I can't describe how much I like moscow, more than malaysia. How great God is to have created things in order. How great is He, to have seperated the heaven and the earth. I like looking up to the sky, seeing the white and blue harmonising one another. Grey has no right to be there at all!
I like looking at the trees, waving. I like the breeze blowing towards my face. I simply like nature! Gaya called me from my back, "Dawai, Yin, chai popyom" (Let's drink tea, Yin)
I wished I could stay there a little longer, but, it's just too difficult to explain to them why am I standing there, so, well, "okay!" I said.
Have you ever felt how blessed are you living on this earth? I read a book and it says, "you will not feel contented because you don't belong to the earth, you are just a foreigner, temporary staying here." However, I feel blessed, I am looking forward for more to come, the better will be, but I feel blessed because I am under God's protection and each step I take, I know He measured well before hand. I learned that the more I feel worry, the more I am, the same for feeling blessed. The more I feel blessed, the more I am.
As usual, I am quite popularily loved by Ward 820. They just love seeing me. "Devuska, dawai davlenie izmerite, pozhalusta." (Girl, please measure blood pressure). I got shock when I came to this old lady, I didn't expect much because all these while her blood pressure was quite low and today it was 80/35. I asked "How are you? Do you feel dizzy?" "No, I am just feeling weak." "ok. Rest well, anything please press the signal." "OK."
I went off and told Tanya about it. She said "She is dying."
She is dying? A 83-year-old lady, having cancer in her stomach, hemoglobin keeps on dropping, from 70 to 60 till 40. The body seems like not wanting to fight against the cancerous cells. She is just too afraid to take another injection. I wonder, what is in her mind now......
I felt so boring sitting down and doing nothing once when I was working in another hospital. I fully understand how suffering it'll be for waiting. She doesn't read a book or watch television. She doesn't have friends or family visiting her. She doesn't able to get out of her bed, she is partially bed-ridden. How she actually feels when just lying down and waiting. What is she hoping for now? A relative to come saying "HI!", a doctor telling her you are all well and you will be discharged right now, or simply just close her eyes and never wake up again?
Everyday I woke up and there are some works waiting for me to drive me on for the day and I always thank God for letting me open up my eyes for another brand new day. How about her? Opening up her eyes will make her suffer for another day? I am lost for words, I simply just don't know how big is the burden in her heart, how big are the shoes she is wearing on now.
I wonder what her consultant will say. What will you say to a patient which you feel there is no hope and she is actually old enough to stop bearing the pain just to get rid of the cancer? I wanted to approach her and have a nice chat, to kills the boredom, but I have the language barrier, so well......sigh......How many doctors will actually have the time just to sit down by the side of the patients and listen to them? A friend told me this, "Being a doctor, you can't involve too much of your feelings towards the patient into it." I agree, but I just want to care and love them.
Do you actually know how much time you have left on earth? Do the best you can to feel better! The happier are the people around you, the happier you will be. =)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Shivering in moscow's summer
17C! - Cloudy (Might Rain in the afternoon)
We have 2 friends from Volgograd came visit Moscow - Joshua a.k.a Uncle Eu and his beloved wife Jean. This is the 2nd day since they came staying in our hostel. After having our breakfast, we began our Moscow tour (travel agent - S.M.S= suresh+meisiu+suetyin).
The first tourist spot will be at Kropokinskaya metro. The biggest orthodox church building in Moscow. If you have never been there, please do make your trip there as soon as possible, because it's really a very nice place. The architecture of the building is awesome, I wonder how the people would have thought of building it that way. I have a conclusion after visiting Moscow for a month - Moscow has very good maintaining system for their parks.
King Nicholas the II was the one who decided to rebuild this church. There are a big gallery at the underground level of the building, it's really interesting looking back what the people have actually done in the past decades. The history of Russia!
There is a huge bridge at the side entrance of the building. The most interesting of all about the bridge is there are locks hooking at the handle of the bridge. It might not mean too much to somebody, but I do think it's a nice symbol of love. However, beware lovers - please do remember to paint your lock before putting it up. If not it'll be rusty just like the one below. :P
After Kropokinskaya, I was quite tired. So we went to Okho Niryad metro station for lunch. Then, we headed to Tret'yakovskaya Gallery. It's really a great art gallery. We are lucky enough to have met a group of tourist from the States. They have their own private tour guide, explaining them the arts and history of Russia. Acting like one of them, I actually walked through the whole gallery together with them, but still, I just able to admire around 60% of all. It took me a long day for it.
It's not an end for that day yet. We, then, went for dinner at the "Sparrow Slope". Picnic is the dinner for the day. So, we went Ramstor supermarket to grab some drinks and bread, then, we bought a grilled chicken for our picnic too!
All in all, it's a tired day! So, we called the day off!
What a blessed day to enjoy traveling around Moscow! =)
The first tourist spot will be at Kropokinskaya metro. The biggest orthodox church building in Moscow. If you have never been there, please do make your trip there as soon as possible, because it's really a very nice place. The architecture of the building is awesome, I wonder how the people would have thought of building it that way. I have a conclusion after visiting Moscow for a month - Moscow has very good maintaining system for their parks.
King Nicholas the II was the one who decided to rebuild this church. There are a big gallery at the underground level of the building, it's really interesting looking back what the people have actually done in the past decades. The history of Russia!
There is a huge bridge at the side entrance of the building. The most interesting of all about the bridge is there are locks hooking at the handle of the bridge. It might not mean too much to somebody, but I do think it's a nice symbol of love. However, beware lovers - please do remember to paint your lock before putting it up. If not it'll be rusty just like the one below. :P
After Kropokinskaya, I was quite tired. So we went to Okho Niryad metro station for lunch. Then, we headed to Tret'yakovskaya Gallery. It's really a great art gallery. We are lucky enough to have met a group of tourist from the States. They have their own private tour guide, explaining them the arts and history of Russia. Acting like one of them, I actually walked through the whole gallery together with them, but still, I just able to admire around 60% of all. It took me a long day for it.
It's not an end for that day yet. We, then, went for dinner at the "Sparrow Slope". Picnic is the dinner for the day. So, we went Ramstor supermarket to grab some drinks and bread, then, we bought a grilled chicken for our picnic too!
All in all, it's a tired day! So, we called the day off!What a blessed day to enjoy traveling around Moscow! =)
Sunday, July 27, 2008
меня зовут Галина...
It's pretty cold this morning, I was shivering though I was wearing a long-sleeved jacket. As usual, I jogged at the beginning of the path and started to walk after going down the stairs. It sounds pretty lazy right?
I enjoy walking through the trees, listening to the sound made by the crickets and being bitten by unknown bugs (by the way, sometimes I killed some of them accidentally). I just simply love nature.
After studying here for 3 years, now only I know that the park is so nice and soothening. It's a good place to release stress. There are babushki and dedushki (grandpas and grandmas) walking with their beloved doggies or jogging (may be I can say they look more like running). You can barely imagine the speed of the old people in moscow. They, for sure, are much more healthier than our grandpas and grandmas back in our country.
As I reached the turning point, where I am about to return, I met a dedushka sitting by the side, holding a book, laying his hands on his tummy, wearing 2 specticles (far-sighted and short-sighted). He looked up as I passed by and I simply say "Good morning!"
He waved his hand inviting me to sit down. Feeling a bit tire, I sat by his side and we started to talk. As usual, the first question will be, " What is your name?"
"Yin!" I said. (Though I know is pretty hard for them to pronounce it, that is the shortest way people can call me)
"Giin?" He asked. "No, is Yin." (It's really difficult!)
"Y-I-N, Yin!"
"Ok! My name is Gorin"
"By the way, I think is better for me to give you a russian name. Giin = Galina. Let it be Galina" He said.
"Oook!" I smiled.
"Why are you always smiling?" He asked. "I beg your pardon?" (By the way, we were conversing in russian and my russian is not that good)
He turned his face to another side for one second and turned back to me with a smiling face like Sticth, and said "tak" with his hand pointing to his own face.
I can't stop laughing, he looked so funny.
We chatted for awhile, he was trying to correct russian sentences. At last, we ended our conversation with my sentence of "mne nado iti" (I got to go)
So... My new name is Galina! Another great morning by God grace!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
my past...
Browsing through my mail box as i have thousands of mails pilling up, I came to this email that really triggers my feeling. It was a mail sent by one of my late beloved friend - I used to called him Datuk (grandpa), simply because he treated me like his grand daughter and he used to call me god cucu (grandchild) also. In June 2006, I met him in a physiotherapy center, which I went to help out as I want to spend my holiday better. He was a frequent patient for the center as he had a constant back pain due to his age. I still remember the time I set him on the machines and also giving him lumbar traction. He always wanted me to stay beside him and have some talks. There is a thing that I will never forget that he taught me this:
" What is the name of FUNNY NERVE?" - ulnar nerve
It's all because it is located at the place that is not really protected by any muscles and if you got hit on that nerve, you will really feel the pain.
The first time I went into an operation room and gave intravenous injection was the time that he brought me to his working place. Yes! He was still working though he was more than 70 years old. I can say, he is a dedicated old doctor. He taught me on some clinical practices which were actually too early for me to learn at that time. However, I tried to remember them well. As I look back, he really painted many colors in my life paper. I regretted that I didn't thought of taking a photo with him. I can barely remember his face now, I wonder what will it be a few years later. Anyhow, I am sure I have had this grandpa before and he will be always in my memory!
I think I have never told you this, grandpa:
"You actually brought joy into my life at that time, and also taught me a lot. I really like having you around and I really love you as my grandpa! I know I will meet you later, in heaven! Love in Christ!"
" What is the name of FUNNY NERVE?" - ulnar nerve
It's all because it is located at the place that is not really protected by any muscles and if you got hit on that nerve, you will really feel the pain.
The first time I went into an operation room and gave intravenous injection was the time that he brought me to his working place. Yes! He was still working though he was more than 70 years old. I can say, he is a dedicated old doctor. He taught me on some clinical practices which were actually too early for me to learn at that time. However, I tried to remember them well. As I look back, he really painted many colors in my life paper. I regretted that I didn't thought of taking a photo with him. I can barely remember his face now, I wonder what will it be a few years later. Anyhow, I am sure I have had this grandpa before and he will be always in my memory!
I think I have never told you this, grandpa:
"You actually brought joy into my life at that time, and also taught me a lot. I really like having you around and I really love you as my grandpa! I know I will meet you later, in heaven! Love in Christ!"
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Friends of my life....
When I was 6, I had a friend whom I can't even remember her name now, but I remember really clearly that she was my best friend.
When I was 7, I had a friend who sat beside me and I taught her to be more BRAVE (haha... stupid stuffs).
When I was 8, I beat up 2 guys because they were teasing me.
When I was 9, I had a friend who likes to compete with me.
When I was 10, I met this friend who adored sitting beside me, but all she likes about was to scold me for whatever reason.
When I was 11, I had a chance to get to know this friend whom I found really sincere as a friend. When I was 12, I decided to change my seats because I can't tolerate the person beside me anymore and that was when I met a girl who was soft to me.
When I was 13, I do not know why we quarreled and we ended our close friendship ever since, When I was 14, I met the best friend of my life, and she gave me the best of all for 3 years of my secondary school life, n I gave her the promise "You will be my best friend forever and ever". We went through bitterness, but it was not a big deal :)
When I was 15, I was so protected.
When I was 16, I actually learnt that my classmates thought differently from me, In appearance they seemed so real and were amazing friends, but to stand in the background and listened to them say "she actually hated ABC since form 1" was absolutely terrifying ... hehe.. may be we were still too young...
When I was 17, i met a friend, who stayed with me for 2 years after that, and was my really nice roomie. In that very same year, I met another friend who I always ran to take shelter. At the same time, I have a friend in which I was able share all things with .. and another whose room was my refuge a place where I can run to when I do not want to talk
when i was 18, I met a friend who taught me to say "NO", a friend who is quite funny.
when i was 19, another friend made me felt this world is very weird.
when i am 20..now my current standing... I met a friend who has an almost similar life like me, a friend who can calm me down when i m angry, a friend like my mom.....(Angeline...I am talking about you :D)
What about you?
there are more friends in my life than i can list down... but it will take a long time...
I like thinking about them, I like thinking of times we spent together, I like to call them once in a while and reminisce of the days gone by, i like bringing them back to our memories,
friends are just so meaningful in our lives....Each of them are different bringing a different sensation and different feelings. None can replace the other...none can take over anyone's place because In my heart lies their footsteps no rain can wash away.....................
they came in n went out... but they are parts of my life........
When I was 7, I had a friend who sat beside me and I taught her to be more BRAVE (haha... stupid stuffs).
When I was 8, I beat up 2 guys because they were teasing me.
When I was 9, I had a friend who likes to compete with me.
When I was 10, I met this friend who adored sitting beside me, but all she likes about was to scold me for whatever reason.
When I was 11, I had a chance to get to know this friend whom I found really sincere as a friend. When I was 12, I decided to change my seats because I can't tolerate the person beside me anymore and that was when I met a girl who was soft to me.
When I was 13, I do not know why we quarreled and we ended our close friendship ever since, When I was 14, I met the best friend of my life, and she gave me the best of all for 3 years of my secondary school life, n I gave her the promise "You will be my best friend forever and ever". We went through bitterness, but it was not a big deal :)
When I was 15, I was so protected.
When I was 16, I actually learnt that my classmates thought differently from me, In appearance they seemed so real and were amazing friends, but to stand in the background and listened to them say "she actually hated ABC since form 1" was absolutely terrifying ... hehe.. may be we were still too young...
When I was 17, i met a friend, who stayed with me for 2 years after that, and was my really nice roomie. In that very same year, I met another friend who I always ran to take shelter. At the same time, I have a friend in which I was able share all things with .. and another whose room was my refuge a place where I can run to when I do not want to talk
when i was 18, I met a friend who taught me to say "NO", a friend who is quite funny.
when i was 19, another friend made me felt this world is very weird.
when i am 20..now my current standing... I met a friend who has an almost similar life like me, a friend who can calm me down when i m angry, a friend like my mom.....(Angeline...I am talking about you :D)
What about you?
there are more friends in my life than i can list down... but it will take a long time...
I like thinking about them, I like thinking of times we spent together, I like to call them once in a while and reminisce of the days gone by, i like bringing them back to our memories,
friends are just so meaningful in our lives....Each of them are different bringing a different sensation and different feelings. None can replace the other...none can take over anyone's place because In my heart lies their footsteps no rain can wash away.....................
they came in n went out... but they are parts of my life........
staying up at nite
it has been a long time i didnt come to this place n put even a single letter here... Totoro was once my story.. part of my life that has taught me a lot... taught me to say "NO", to reject something that shouldnt be accepted.. I really thank God to put this story line into my life... without it.. my life is incomplete, i might be the same old "stupid" person i was 3 years ago...
now is 3.22am n the sun is rising at this time.. it is not a weird scene to me after staying here for more than 3 years... Moscow indeed is a nice n pretty place for me... I like Moscow... but me myself i dunno y... may be i have my real part of life here in moscow...
Friends... came in n out of the storyline of my life... Once was close and now not, once was not n now is... i m scare to have frens n put up with promises to do sth together years later... but i hope i can... i hv this fren n both of us promised to nv leave each other no matter wut happens in the future... but how long can this promise stay? it's still a unknown answer.... i really hope i can go around europe with her, staying up at nite on her bed or someday mine in future.... hang out together.... but with all these hopes there always fears behind.... i fear i m the one cannot keep the promise or we are at one point being forced to give up... n say bye.. forever? is there any relationship that can be forever except from God's... i hv learned these years.. there r no eternal relationships in this world, even my godparemts love me so much n so do i.. in certain circumstances we have to give up in our relationship...
but deep in my heart i wanna still wanna promise her... i will never leave u... i really hope tht all my relationships will last forever n there will nt be a time to get far from each other.. but is it possible? i doubt... i really doubt.. the thing i hv least confident in my life probably is about relationship... i have failed to many times.... n i never want to fail again.......
now is 3.22am n the sun is rising at this time.. it is not a weird scene to me after staying here for more than 3 years... Moscow indeed is a nice n pretty place for me... I like Moscow... but me myself i dunno y... may be i have my real part of life here in moscow...
Friends... came in n out of the storyline of my life... Once was close and now not, once was not n now is... i m scare to have frens n put up with promises to do sth together years later... but i hope i can... i hv this fren n both of us promised to nv leave each other no matter wut happens in the future... but how long can this promise stay? it's still a unknown answer.... i really hope i can go around europe with her, staying up at nite on her bed or someday mine in future.... hang out together.... but with all these hopes there always fears behind.... i fear i m the one cannot keep the promise or we are at one point being forced to give up... n say bye.. forever? is there any relationship that can be forever except from God's... i hv learned these years.. there r no eternal relationships in this world, even my godparemts love me so much n so do i.. in certain circumstances we have to give up in our relationship...
but deep in my heart i wanna still wanna promise her... i will never leave u... i really hope tht all my relationships will last forever n there will nt be a time to get far from each other.. but is it possible? i doubt... i really doubt.. the thing i hv least confident in my life probably is about relationship... i have failed to many times.... n i never want to fail again.......
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